Assisted Feeding in Weaning: Why Modelling Eating Matters

More often than not, we worry about what or how much our baby is eating, but how often do the health professionals we meet in those early days tell us how important our role is in the process?

Before you sit down to your next weaning adventure, read this. The simplicity will probably blow your mind, and it might just save you from picky eating problems later down the line 

Spoiler alert: our actions, behaviour, presence and approach at mealtimes can have a lasting impact!

One of the most overlooked parts of introducing solids is assisted feeding and behavioural modelling. Babies are not born knowing how to chew, bite, pace a meal, or even understand that food goes in the mouth instead of being squashed into their hair (though that’s a great part of sensory input and discovery, too).

They learn by watching you and from the help and support you give them at mealtimes, which is why being present at mealtimes and eating with your Little One is so important.

Whether you follow traditional spoon-feeding, baby-led weaning, or a mixture of both, your baby’s biggest teacher at the table is not a cookbook, a feeding chart, or a pouch — it’s you.

What Is Assisted Feeding?

Assisted feeding means actively helping your baby learn to eat rather than passively delivering food.

This can include:

• Demonstrating how to bite and chew
• Guiding the spoon or Dippit to their mouth
• Helping them hold and angle food
• Supporting pacing (not overfilling the mouth)
• Encouraging swallowing before the next bite
• Showing how meals work socially

It is not force-feeding. And it is not controlling intake.

Instead, assisted feeding falls under responsive feeding—where you provide structure and the opportunities for skill-building, while your baby controls how much they eat.

Babies Learn to Eat the Same Way They Learn to Talk

No parent expects a child to speak clearly without hearing language first. Eating is the same.

Your baby has to learn how:

• Wide to open their mouth
• To move food with their tongue
• To chew (even without teeth)
• To spit out food that’s too big
• Fast is safe to eat And when to swallow

They copy you instinctively. If a baby never sees chewing, they can’t invent chewing.

Why Modelling Eating Behaviour Is Essential

1. It Builds Oral Motor Skills 

Chewing is a learned motor pattern. Babies start with a suck reflex — not a chew reflex.

When they watch you exaggerate chewing movements, they begin copying:

• jaw movement
• lip closure
• tongue lateralisation (moving food side to side)

This is why babies often open their mouths when you open yours — they are mapping your movements onto their own body.

Without modelling, many babies:

• mash food with their tongue only
• overstuff
• struggle with textures later
• gag more frequently

2. It Reduces Choking Risk

Helping and demonstrating actually make self-feeding safer.

A baby who learns to bite manageable pieces, pause between bites, and chew before swallowing is far safer than a baby left to figure it out completely alone.

Watching you take bites teaches pacing—one of the key protective factors against choking.

3. It Prevents Picky Eating Later

Babies are biologically wired to trust foods they see adults eat.

From an evolutionary perspective, we learned that if a tribe eats it and survives, it is safe.

When babies eat separately (different food, different time, different place), they lose this powerful learning mechanism.

Research consistently shows that children who eat with parents, family members, and caregivers, and who see foods eaten repeatedly, accept more variety.

4. It Teaches Appetite Regulation

Your baby learns when meals start and end by observing you.

They notice:

• When you take breaks
• When you drink
• When you stop eating

This helps them develop internal hunger cues — the foundation of healthy lifelong eating habits.

What Modelling Actually Looks Like at the Table

You don’t need special techniques (although some expert-approved tools help). You just need to be obvious.

• Exaggerate movements
• Take a bite
• Chew slowly
• Show your tongue moving food
• Swallow clearly
• Narrate what you’re doing
  • “Mummy is chewing.”
  • “Big bite — now chew chew chew.”
  • “Swallow… all gone!”

Language links action to understanding. Yes — it feels dramatic, but that’s the point.

It also helps to eat the same food whenever possible. You don’t need to rely solely on baby food. You can just adjust what you’re eating - perhaps a softer texture, appropriately sized, and ensure that you prep their portion before adding salt or sugar. Babies learn faster when food is shared.

Assisted Feeding vs Baby-Led Weaning (They Are Not Opposites)

This is where many parents feel confused. Baby-led weaning does not mean hands-off parenting. You are teaching a skill — not interfering with autonomy.

Ways you can help:

• Preload a spoon - our two-ended Dippit is built for this!
• Use tried and trusted techniques like guiding their hand
• Demonstrate biting 
• Pace the meal

Practical Ways to Assist Without Overriding Your Baby

Offer → Demonstrate → Pause → Let Them Try

• Show the action deliberately and slowly
• Give them time - pick mealtimes when you can be really present, and you’re not rushed for time
• Help only if needed - try not to steal their struggle. They’re developing crucial problem-solving skills when they learn how to eat
• Avoid rapid spooning or continuous handing of food to ‘get the job done’. Babies need processing time.

Signs Your Baby Might Need More Modelling

You may notice:

• holding food without eating
• sucking instead of chewing
• frequent gagging on manageable textures
• overstuffing mouth
• dropping food repeatedly
• relying only on purées beyond 8–9 months

These often improve dramatically when caregivers actively demonstrate eating, but you should seek professional help if you are concerned.

Modern feeding environments differ from history. Our lives and routines are faster-paced, and there’s more reliance on other caregivers and nursery settings. We tend to share fewer family meals and have more separate baby food. So babies may sometimes have less opportunity to observe eating than nature intended. Yet, there’s still so much we can do, and every effort is worth it. Experts agree that even sitting down once a week with our babies and making time to model and interact at mealtimes is beneficial.

So, don’t worry about how often you’re doing it. Just dive into developmental weaning whenever you can. Remember, you are your child’s first teacher, and you’re providing them with foundational skills that will shape so many areas of their life as they grow and develop.

Assisted feeding isn’t controlling feeding. It’s teaching eating. By modelling and participating in meals, you help your baby build positive mealtime relationships, vital social skills, and nurture a wider acceptance of food.

In short, you’re not just feeding your baby. You’re coaching and raising a future eater.